Anna Higgins may have fled the office on this gloomy Monday, but never fear - she's entrusted me with imparting the precious jewels of gossip from this week's magazines to you, her loyal readers.

So let's get started! The mags are all a-flutter over the latest royal wedding, that of the Queen's grandson Peter Phillips and his Canadian hottie, Autumn Kelly.

Woman's Day and OK! both concentrate their coverage on the two hangers-on, Kate Middleton and Chelsy Davy.

Poor old Kate. Once dubbed 'Waity Katie', as Wills leaves her hanging for that elusive proposal, she's now been given an even worse moniker by the British press - 'Wakey-wakey Katie'.

Well, the Phillips-Kelly wedding should have served as an eye-opener - Wills didn't even turn up! Kate was sans date at the big bash while her man was on the other side of the globe at the wedding of an old flame's brother. Ouch.

Harry's girl Chelsy was looking like the cat that got the cream, after being formally introduced to the Queen for the first time. I'd put my odds on her to be the next addition to the royal family ahead of Kate at this rate.

Meanwhile the happy couple themselves, Peter and Autumn, had the rellies in a tizzy for selling the rights to their wedding to Hello! magazine.

I say good on them! Let's face it, Peter's not exactly A-list royalty and his blushing bride is from an average family. They've got to finance all those polo ponies, funny hats and jaunts on yachts somehow.

Speaking of funny hats, Princess Beatrice takes the prize for the looniest headgear I've ever seen - she turned up in a rainbow print dress with a swarm of butterflies attacking her head. Maybe someone told her the wedding had a rainforest theme.

In other nuptial news, OK! has the pics from the Ashlee Simpson - Pete Wentz shindig. Looks like the happy couple had a toss-up over who got to wear the eyeliner on the day and Ashlee won.

New Idea reports the ceremony was almost cancelled after Ashlee (a self-described "Bridechilla") decided at the last minute she wanted a Buddhist priest, instead of Poppa Joe, as celebrant. Pete is reported to have talked her out of it.

"It all ended well," says a source. "Ashlee had her dark fantasy wedding, Joe, as usual, got his way, and Pete scored some major points with his new father-in-law." Way to go Pete - you're already firmly under Poppa Joe's thumb.

Rumours are flying that Mr Hot Property himself, Justin Timberlake is about to pop the big question to Jessica Biel. Have they even been seen together in recent months? PDA offenders Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are also setting tongues wagging that some bling may be on the horizon.

The Kiwi connection has made country singer Shania Twain's split with hubby Robert 'Mutt' Lange big news over here. With New Idea reporting he's allegedly been doing the nasty with their secretary as well as controlling her life for the last 14 years, the nickname seems pretty appropriate. Now the battle's on over who gets to keep their gigantic slice of Wanaka farmland.

Former All Black Luke McAlister is revealed in Woman's Day this week as a cheating love rat. Broken-hearted ex-wife Brooke has decided to tell all about their marriage, which ended last year. Oh well. I was always more of a Dan Carter fan anyway.

Over in Hollywood it seems the yummy mummies are in a battle to outspend on their precious offspring. New Idea reports that Brangelina are dropping an estimated $20 million on the imminent birth of their twins. No expense must be spared this time with the babies likely to be born in a swanky French hospital ? a far cry from baby Shiloh's birth in the middle of nowhere, Namibia. I swear that kid always gets the raw deal.

Katie Holmes is obsessed with dressing baby Suri up in made-to-order outfits from the likes of Versace and Armani. The poor wee tot even has a diamond tiara and is about to receive her first pair of teeny-tiny Marc Jacobs heels. Suri's cute enough as she is! She doesn't need to be dripping with jewels and designer labels at the tender age of two.

Perhaps Katie should have a read of the 'tween queens' feature further on in NI to see what happens when you let kids grow up too fast. What with Miley Cyrus' topless magazine shoot, Vanessa Hudgens' nude photos and Jamie Lynn Spears' teenage pregnancy, life in the media spotlight is full of pitfalls.

Keep an eye out for new Next Big Thing Selena Gomez, too. The latest Hannah Montana wannabe is a 15-year-old singer slash actress, who launched her career on Barney and now stars in a Disney show about a family of wizards. I'm sure it won't be long til she's partying til all hours with her mom-ager, too.

In other news, the Topp Twins turn 50, there are loads of pics from Cannes, Kate Hudson's over Owen and onto Lance Armstrong, and Jen's already meeting new squeeze John Mayer's folks.

And that's all from the mags this week!