The baby is beautiful, the pics are gorgeous, and new mum Nicole has bounced back to her old form in no time. And, for the record, she doesn't look too skinny as many of the mags have been reporting. If she can get back in shape in six or seven weeks more power to her, I say.

Little Harlow looks a lot like her mummy, although Nicole says a large part of the appeal of her baby's name is that "no-one has it". Er, apart from the daughter of Patricia Arquette, who got in on the moniker five years ago.

Since I watched The Simple Life I've always thought Nicole had a good sense of humour, and when the interviewer asks if Harlow has met Paris Hilton, she deadpans "Yeah, they went to the Ivy."

Despite only having been dating for 14 months (how things move fast in Hollywood!) Joel and Nicole have got a camaraderie which is really cute to see. Somehow I don't think Paris Hilton latching on to Joel's twin, Benji, is going to work out so well.

NW reports on the heiress' hookup with the other Madden twin, spotted partying together at a Vegas nightclub. Fast forward two weeks and Paris is dressed head to toe in Benji's clothing line, is wearing a ?B' around her neck and an engagement ring on that finger.

"Paris is desperate to get in with him so she can change her image." says a source. Call me a cycnic but I don't think even hooking up with the Pope could change Paris' image. He might go down in a few people's estimations though.

I've interviewed Benji Madden before and he seems a pretty cool guy - he doesn't need that skanky scent all over him like white on rice. Free Benji!

NW is running the photos of Christina Aguilera and baby Max, so it's probably not worth hurrying to get if you saw them in last week's New Idea.

Woman's Weekly has an interview with the Parores, Sally and Adam, as they pack up their family and up sticks to India for the former Black Caps' newly signed ICL contract.

Sally's never been to India, and has to haul ass on her own with the four kids, two of whom are extremely fussy eaters.

She seems to be playing it either super-chilled or quite blasé, saying throughout the interview "I don't think it has really hit me yet what it's actually going to be like," and "I don't know if it's a good idea to think about it too much."

Er, I think you'd better, Sally. Best of luck! You're gonna need it. With the stomach bugs rampant around new visitors to India Sally and the kids may well become the Poo-rores.

In disturbing news this week, NW runs a story on the rise and rise of Kevin Federline. Apparently ?Brit's ex is LA's hottest ticket and everyone wants a piece of him.' Word is actress Selma Blair is particularly taken with him and that the pair swapped digits in New York recently.

Yarg! I know this guy has cleaned up his act, but once a douchebag, always a douchebag, and a ditching his old bandana for a stupid mohawk won't convince me otherwise. Kevin Federline hot! Next you'll tell me up is down, brussels sprouts taste good and Paris Hilton is pure as the driven snow.

Her career rut is being blamed for turning Katie Holmes into a Skinny Minnie, and she's so wee husband Tommy Girl has banned her from running the LA Marathon in March.

Tom handpicked a good, wholesome role in Mad Money as a part suitable for his wife, and Katie's mad now it turned out the movie was a dud of mega-proportions. I don't get it. Nicole Kidman was ?allowed' to appear naked in a play on London's West End, but Katie's forced to let Tom veto all her parts? Grow a backbone, lady!

You'll find all the photos from the Oscars red carpet and the after parties throughout the three mags. Woman's Day boasts Agustina Mon, Polly Gillespie and Petra Bagust give their ?expert opinion'. Agustina and Petra are known round town for their fashion nous, while Polly attempts to provide the humour.

New Idea has Carson Kressley to dish out the bouquets and brickbats, and the mags also has some photos from the booth Madonna and Demi Moore set up at their private Oscar party - most of which seem to feature camera-hog Rumer Willis.

Jennifer Aniston snubbed Brad's great pal George Clooney at an Oscars after-party when he attempted to make small talk. She, in turn, got stood up by Angelina Jolie the night after she debuted her baby bump in Santa Monica at a pre-Oscars awards show.

Host Jon Stewart reckoned he knew why. "Obviously, Angelina Jolie couldn't be here. It's hard to find 17 babysitters on Oscar night.'

Eddie Murphy has a valid reason, as he sees it, to stay away from his daughter Angel with Scary Spice Mel B. Eddie, now referred to by Scary as ?Beverly Hills C**k') believes Mel ?tricked' him into getting her pregnant so she could chase him for a paternity settlement.

Yeah Eddie, sure. She tricked your dingaling right into that vajayjay.

Eddie is fastidiously germaphobic and, according to New Idea "before he even slept with Mel he made her show him a certificate to say she didn't have any STDs." Almost as good as Terrence Howard's admission last year that he would break up with any girl who used toilet paper instead of a baby wipes after using the loo.

Congrats to Jennifer Lopez, who is now a mama of two with the birth of her twins last week. The Woman's Weekly reports that it's not from a lack of trying, with J-Lo and husband Marc Anthony making all the time business time over the past few years to fulfill their dream of having a family.

"They tried to make babies in just about every big city in the United States - and many in South America as well."

I'll leave you with that less-than-pleasing mental image.

And that's all from the mags this week!